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To Any Dating App Visitors

This would be the blog post expanding on a few hundred characters limit I promised.

· Philosophy,Social Change,Thinking Different,Informing Ignorance,Family

To those of you who have shown at least the minimal interest needed to bring you here, to read this little manifesto, I must first say…

 

Thank you.

 

It shouldn’t matter, but lately I’ve been prickly about a few issues that effectively boil down to people whose minds and opinions I am too polite to opine as to telling me where I can and can’t have any opinion of worth.

 

I will pause to mention that these areas happen to be where I have thirty-two years of active experience, strong passions regarding, and… Well, I’ve never gone the online entrepreneur route because, in essence, I hate capitalism and chasing currency, real or imagined.

 

But, to suggest I am without ideas here reminds me of an anecdote about one of my luminaries, John Lennon.

 

In the seventies he was going out of his way to make jarring, provocative songs. And deliberately shoving the Beatles mystique into a wood chipper. He was angry.

 

One musical executive suggested that maybe Lennon had lost the ability to write hits. When he heard this he went through the roof. As if John fucking Lennon couldn’t do any and everything musical.

 

It’s also interesting to note that those jarring, poor-selling seventies songs are now considered among his ost significant works. (Power to the People, Instant Karma, Working Class Hero, Woman, Jealous Guy, etc.)

 

In my case, being told that I have nothing to contribute to the most significant life-aid I’ve profited from – online communities and resources – rather pissed me off.

 

In short. I took a day, built a model, shook it down, found new ways to do some things, and completely new things to bring to make this something way more than a dating app.

 

Oh, I picked dating app as a theme because for one, Tinder just seems so tacky and jock-ish, and Luxy almost beggars disbelief to me. Basing social matching on money!?

 

For the record, I don’t care about your money. It’s yours and none of my business.

 

Furthermore, right now I have no money. None. Nada.

 

That said, I kind of feel that (and I hate staking this claim, it feels insufferable to me) writing the one and only complete exposition of the thoughts and teachings of an Ancient Greek you’ve never heard of who just so happens to be the chronological first and only fourth member of the Socrates, Plato, Aristotle fraternity. (If somehow you’re unaware, they essentially formed the foundation of Western thinking.) And Heraclitus came first. When you look at him explained, his influence over Socrates is so profound that… Well. No questioning that he has things to say that somehow, for twenty-five hundred years, no one could grasp. His moniker, laid on him by no less a mind than Aristotle, was Nimis Obscurē – Too Obscure.

 

No amount of money in the world could do that. And no amount of money in the world can. Buy it. I make it free. (And it does need revising. The core content is totally sound, but my prose and approach to exposing it was lazy and sloppy, largely because I resented having to write the stupid book.)

 

To me, that sort of suggests the kind of accomplishment and intellect characteristic of ‘high achievers’ and ‘ambitous’ types and such.

 

But it won’t pay the porn bill.

 

And so, upon being told I have nothing to contribute to a field I’ve been mining since before Zuckerberg even hit puberty, and certainly deeply enough to recognize Twitter for the piece of garbage it is…

 

I am offering Miao.

 

More on her later. I’ll just say that the biggest obstacle to getting her done and the lots and lots and lots of money attendant is… Finding the much, much smaller sum in VC or whatever to build it.

 

Not a lot, in fact, even for a start-up. And, since I see where and how and why, in terms I am quite adept at presenting to laymen and technical minds alike, it’s not if, it’s when.

 

Someone business-minded will see what I am hinting at (can’t give away all the kitty here) and when they do they will knock down my door and threaten my with bodily harm if I don’t take their money (in return for whatever slice of the pie).

 

Because I am, in fact, a genius in the literal sense where these paths and connections are concerned. I am Hyperlexic, and possible Savant Syndrome (I don’t care about details and only learned I am autistic a few years back, which I assure the reader was far, far too late to make any difference. I built my mind and values and such the very, very hard way decades ago, and that is who and what I am to this day.)

 

More on that in a moment. But while I in no way expect a stranger to credit my claim that I can IPO spin at will (though ask me about my idea about cleaning up porn and flipping it into a medium for social change some time. It’s totally sound and the fact that no one has tripped over how to tap that ‘empty’ market segment in that media is to me proof that why I can see it and no one else does (until I tell them) is both related to my ethics and values, and to my talent candy-flipping language and concepts faster than I can type them. When Miao hits, I will be putting my porn-spinner into development. What’s the point of having resources and not using them to help and work with other?

 

Enough about money, ambition, achievement and all that.

 

Next, the other elephant in the room.

 

I am half-convinced that Luxy is a scam and joke, and while I treat anyone I meet there with the same respect I would anyone, I kind of think of it as an amusing diversion as a site.

 

For one thing, I highly doubt there are that many engaging, drop-dead gorgeous, successful (or well-inherited I suppose) women in the world, much less, according to the app, in and around me now. As in within 100 metres, or otherwise nearby.

 

I mention this because please trust me, if I were surrounded by such beauties and achievers? I’d notice.

 

Which, to digress to the would-be white knight who tried to scold me for admiring an image or few.

 

Women are not idiots. They are well aware of how they present, what they present, and the images that inspired.

 

If a lady has her girls out, or is offering the booty shot, they’re well aware that they are doing so. If for no other reason than, perhaps, the breezes in uncovered areas.

 

If a lady chooses to share her charms, be appreciative. Not rude or crude of course, or offering every single one of them a visit to Crete (if half of those women took that guy up, there wouldn’t be enough money in his world to make good on all the tickets, but it seems unlikely to be an issue).

 

If she shows, I will look. If it’s a particularly inspiring vista, I may compliment. I have yet to be told off by any of the ladies in question so, kind sir, please bugger the fuck off.

 

As for me… When I was younger (17-33 or so), for reasons totally lost to me, I… Was very active. As in pretty much legendarily (at least to a circle of acquaintances) and I took advantage of just about every opportunity to try something (or someones) new. That said, I knew this then, and it is all the more so now:

 

I was scoring way, way, way over my head. For whatever reason, girls (then women) I considered miles out of my league had a tendency to, I guess, slum it with me. And communicating ensured that no one was hurt or dumped or deceived. A very important lesson.

 

Nowadays I am rebuilding my health, my appearance and my vigor. Frankly, it sucks (I am not much of a fan of hard labour if not towards something I value), but it needs to be done and will take some time. Ergo, physically I am not a catch.

 

Maybe all the women who claim not to focus on appearance or trappings will prove themselves faithful to those creeds.

 

Of course, generalizing about anyone is not a winning approach, but I do have to note that people on this site put a lot of effort to show their ‘best self.’ And lie or omit a lot. (I have no doubt men do too, but I don’t look at them.)

 

Gorgeous, professionally shot and enhanced photos for one. Nothing wrong with that, it’s the point of taking pictures for the mating game.

 

On the other hand, no one is flawless… Not unless you take those 300 word blurbs seriously.

 

I mean, how many ladies with serious cocaine eyes try to present as sober, serious-minded, etc. I don’t care. Let your freak flags fly. Be real.

 

I use the (mostly silly) selfies I even have lying around. Definitely not flattering, particularly as I am the world’s worst photographer, and no photoshopping or other aids I am quite schooled in the use of. Just me. I am not going to be your idea of drop-dead gorgeous, so put me up there as is and see who looks deeper.

 

Because I am adventurous, ambitious, trustworthy and within whatever bounds are agreed on, faithful to the extreme. I am (or can be) funny, witty, carry conversations in English with anyone alive, assuming no specific technical knowledge or jargon required.

 

I can express my feelings, thoughts and values eloquently, and do make every effort to communicate, without beating anyone to death with verbiage.

 

My physical issues are ugly, but they are fixable. I’m afraid my mental aberrance (morals, values, mindset, etc.) are on the other hand chronically ingrained.

 

Travel? Really wanting to, and likely better equipped to adapt and love new places than many seasoned global marketing types.

 

Tastes? I don’t follow fashion. I have style. The notion of lapels, or pockets, or the drape of a suit, etc., being a matter of a season’s whimsy is asinine. Ask any Savile Row tailor worth the name. Those things are person-specific, to best fit and suit them, and so not subject to designers’ need to re-sell you every season.

 

Culinarily I am adventurous, but not suicidal. I am fairly sophisticated as a wine spectator (remember that magazine?), insofar as I don’t drink much.

 

Smoking, but really do mean to quit soon. Just that right now I have enough on my plate, adding that stress when I am not seeing or meeting anyone seems like needless self-abuse.

 

Material possessions, I tended when I made more than I could spend, to have pretty exacting (and expensive) tastes. Since I have discarded many interests or focuses, refined the others…

 

For example, watches. I don’t wear one, I have no need to chain myself to a timer like that. But if as an object of jewelry or simply the watchmaking craft’s excellence, then there really only are two choices. Patek Philippe (particularly the understated Calatrava line) and A.Lange & Söhn.

 

They are the only two watchmakers (esp. Patek of course) whose work appreciates over time. Irony there. Vacheron-Constantin etc. may make fine mechnisms, but like a Bentley, as soon as you take possession, it’s lost a big chunk of its value.

 

Clothing? Savile Row bespoke. Take the time to get properly measured and fitted, develop a relationship with your tailor, and you’ll never look a whit less than your best. For more casual wear, I somewhat favour the Italians, particularly Ermenegildo Zena.

 

Hotel chains? You lost me at ‘chain.’ While some are dependably consistent and comfortable, I’ll look for the gem of a boutique hotel, an available flat to rent, even a hostel just for the social noise that can’t always be ignored if one wants to be societally fluent.

 

Etc., etc. Cars? After a certain point, they’re lovely and thrilling but really just not an excess I would justify. As my little brother, who can afford any car he chooses, and chose an E-type remarked, “There’s just something too much about an S-type. It’s a marvel, but I have trouble trusting the sort of people who buy them.”

 

He said it, not me.

 

Residences? There is one very unique and specific one I covet the Hell out of. And it’s around ten million, which is what, a generic new mansion? A mid-high range high rise property? All very nice, but I know what I want. (Ask if curious.)

 

But, failing that? I want a modern building penthouse in Medellín, Colombia (I am working towards establishing one of my start-up’s offices there. Colombia is serious about making Medellín a tech hub, well, I want to be a part. As well as escaping Montréal winters. New construction because the older often have plumbing and related fatal defects.

 

And in Montréal, which I will never fully leave, either a triplex or single-family home in Outremont, or a converted warehouse in Old Montréal. I’m really not a suburban type, and my environment is of considerable concern to me.

 

What else? I think I’m done for now, and will perhaps add quoted ‘wants in’ bits from (anonymous) ladies and see how I might fit, whether the first impression or the lasting one, and then compare that to my actual score on the ‘any interest at all’ scale.

 

If you’ve read all this, I do appreciate your devoting some time to an effort to get better acquainted, or at least amused. Please feel free to offer any comments, suggestions, or exposés of your own!

 

coburn.ross@me.com is my oldest and most likely-checked email address.

 

+1 (514) 909-6556 is either my iPhone or my WhatsApp.

 

I don’t really bother with Instagram, Fickr, Tumblr, and only pay any attention to Twitter to find others interested in writing, agenting (it’s a word) or publishing books with me.

 

An Accidental Philosopher (My writing site, but you already know that, as this article is hosted there.)

 

Mi diario de viaje colombiano is some combination of travel blog and, not unlike this article, efforts to present myself, my aspirations and intentions for Colombia in an accurate, positive light. Also part of my nascent efforts to learn Spanish.

 

Miao is the early building blocks of my online presence plan.

 

Oh, I do occasionally pass Facebook (either RossCoburn or CoburnRoss, I don't remember). LinkedIn is anathema to me. (And Reid Hoffman is a phony.)

 

I shouldn’t cast stones, but he’s managed to irk, and I’m willing to risk my credibility on that score.

 

Thank you again for your attention. It means a lot to me, even if I never know of it.

To those of you who have shown at least the minimal interest needed to bring you here, to read this little manifesto, I must first say…

Thank you.

It shouldn’t matter, but lately I’ve been prickly about a few issues that effectively boil down to people whose minds and opinions I am too polite to opine as to telling me where I can and can’t have any opinion of worth.

I will pause to mention that these areas happen to be where I have thirty-two years of active experience, strong passions regarding, and… Well, I’ve never gone the online entrepreneur route because, in essence, I hate capitalism and chasing currency, real or imagined.

But, to suggest I am without ideas here reminds me of an anecdote about one of my luminaries, John Lennon.

In the seventies he was going out of his way to make jarring, provocative songs. And deliberately shoving the Beatles mystique into a wood chipper. He was angry.

One musical executive suggested that maybe Lennon had lost the ability to write hits. When he heard this he went through the roof. As if John fucking Lennon couldn’t do any and everything musical.

It’s also interesting to note that those jarring, poor-selling seventies songs are now considered among his ost significant works. (Power to the People, Instant Karma, Working Class Hero, Woman, Jealous Guy, etc.)

In my case, being told that I have nothing to contribute to the most significant life-aid I’ve profited from – online communities and resources – rather pissed me off.

In short. I took a day, built a model, shook it down, found new ways to do some things, and completely new things to bring to make this something way more than a dating app.

Oh, I picked dating app as a theme because for one, Tinder just seems so tacky and jock-ish, and Luxy almost beggars disbelief to me. Basing social matching on money!?

For the record, I don’t care about your money. It’s yours and none of my business.

Furthermore, right now I have no money. None. Nada.

That said, I kind of feel that (and I hate staking this claim, it feels insufferable to me) writing the one and only complete exposition of the thoughts and teachings of an Ancient Greek you’ve never heard of who just so happens to be the chronological first and only fourth member of the Socrates, Plato, Aristotle fraternity. (If somehow you’re unaware, they essentially formed the foundation of Western thinking.) And Heraclitus came first. When you look at him explained, his influence over Socrates is so profound that… Well. No questioning that he has things to say that somehow, for twenty-five hundred years, no one could grasp. His moniker, laid on him by no less a mind than Aristotle, was Nimis Obscurē – Too Obscure.

No amount of money in the world could do that. And no amount of money in the world can. Buy it. I make it free. (And it does need revising. The core content is totally sound, but my prose and approach to exposing it was lazy and sloppy, largely because I resented having to write the stupid book.)

To me, that sort of suggests the kind of accomplishment and intellect characteristic of ‘high achievers’ and ‘ambitous’ types and such.

But it won’t pay the porn bill.

And so, upon being told I have nothing to contribute to a field I’ve been mining since before Zuckerberg even hit puberty, and certainly deeply enough to recognize Twitter for the piece of garbage it is…

I am offering Miao.

More on her later. I’ll just say that the biggest obstacle to getting her done and the lots and lots and lots of money attendant is… Finding the much, much smaller sum in VC or whatever to build it.

Not a lot, in fact, even for a start-up. And, since I see where and how and why, in terms I am quite adept at presenting to laymen and technical minds alike, it’s not if, it’s when.

Someone business-minded will see what I am hinting at (can’t give away all the kitty here) and when they do they will knock down my door and threaten my with bodily harm if I don’t take their money (in return for whatever slice of the pie).

Because I am, in fact, a genius in the literal sense where these paths and connections are concerned. I am Hyperlexic, and possible Savant Syndrome (I don’t care about details and only learned I am autistic a few years back, which I assure the reader was far, far too late to make any difference. I built my mind and values and such the very, very hard way decades ago, and that is who and what I am to this day.)

More on that in a moment. But while I in no way expect a stranger to credit my claim that I can IPO spin at will (though ask me about my idea about cleaning up porn and flipping it into a medium for social change some time. It’s totally sound and the fact that no one has tripped over how to tap that ‘empty’ market segment in that media is to me proof that why I can see it and no one else does (until I tell them) is both related to my ethics and values, and to my talent candy-flipping language and concepts faster than I can type them. When Miao hits, I will be putting my porn-spinner into development. What’s the point of having resources and not using them to help and work with other?

Enough about money, ambition, achievement and all that.

Next, the other elephant in the room.

I am half-convinced that Luxy is a scam and joke, and while I treat anyone I meet there with the same respect I would anyone, I kind of think of it as an amusing diversion as a site.

For one thing, I highly doubt there are that many engaging, drop-dead gorgeous, successful (or well-inherited I suppose) women in the world, much less, according to the app, in and around me now. As in within 100 metres, or otherwise nearby.

I mention this because please trust me, if I were surrounded by such beauties and achievers? I’d notice.

Which, to digress to the would-be white knight who tried to scold me for admiring an image or few.

Women are not idiots. They are well aware of how they present, what they present, and the images that inspired.

If a lady has her girls out, or is offering the booty shot, they’re well aware that they are doing so. If for no other reason than, perhaps, the breezes in uncovered areas.

If a lady chooses to share her charms, be appreciative. Not rude or crude of course, or offering every single one of them a visit to Crete (if half of those women took that guy up, there wouldn’t be enough money in his world to make good on all the tickets, but it seems unlikely to be an issue).

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