Michelangelo, Expression, Sacred, Profane...
DISCLAIMER : Not written from any place of hate, malice or any agenda not explicitly expressed. I have nothing but admiration for anyone with sincere faith or spirituality of any variety. It's specifically the Vatican theocracy that I would cheerfully wipe from Human history, not those who follow the faith.
If you are a person of Catholic faith, please either leave now or understand that this is not gratuitous but it cannot possibly not offend in every possible way. If it makes you think even a little though I am willing to take this on my record as having chosen to express...
I love that Michelangelo’s symbolic depiction of ‘Innocent of all notion of wrong’ Adam and Eve is totally unmistakably the symbol of exactly one thing and she’s either ‘just finished,’ ‘about to get started’ or ‘interrupted while’ is aligned both with his own inclinations and his opinion as always of the Popes and Vatican (I assume ‘fucking cocksuckers’ is older than English and sounds pretty Italian actually to my admittedly pre-dispositioned ear) in the way guys use it as an insult, which always seemed counter-intuitive to me. If it’s so awful OK, I’ll won't, but I was just about to you moron) though he really didn’t care either way if ‘she’ is involved.
Look at his women. Faces usually angelically beautiful, if nursing children he took special care, but as far as tits and ass pretty much just a few token bumps when everything else he did ever got the perfection stamp. It has to be on purpose even if not at all malicious.
But Eve not having any hint that there was nothing God hadn’t specifically told her was allowed (everything but one tree seems pretty specifically lacking in divine slut shaming) is like the best fuck the Vatican and maybe the first ever ‘kneeling at that altar’ image that became the inescapable one. I am not going to look up ancient Greek blowjob urns or whatever but considering how utterly ethical he was I just appreciate that for fuck’s sake get over being uptight about fucking however whoever wherever.
If you think that Michelangelo, Il Divino himself didn't know exactly what he was very loudly not saying by putting Eve on her knees totally not sucking Adam's cock, and that God, if he existed, had been quite explicitly fine with that, as it was not on his very short list of 'shit you are not allowed to do,' which numbered item one.
Which means whether you agree or not, if you're fucking Catholic get off the high horse and let people enjoy their bodies as their bodies are clearly wired, by God, mother nature, or Great Cthulhu to be.
If it’s not you then it’s none of your fucking business. (Yes, I am going out of my way to say fucking next to and around the Vatican.) And the Pope, even though Francis is actually a bit hard to hate until you get to his LGBQT flip-flop being in some ways worse than just sticking to the ‘we are not down with’ ignorance that at least is consistently dogmatic idiocy) in particular has zero no none moral ground there as long as he is juggling pedophile priests rather than shoving himself at the mercy of the world and just owning up to every bit of that and either being forgiven or told to go to Hell (however you mean that).
Or the Vatican bank being so corrupt that not only was it knowingly the money laundering option of choice for the Italian Mafia, but the other banks in Europe actually refused to touch them saying ‘sorry, too corrupt for us bankers!?’
How bad a drug addict do you have to be that your dealer says ‘you’re cut off?’ Not that what I think matters, but those of us paying attention knows whose does matter, where and how and just how hard the church is yelling ‘I can't hear you nana nana boo boo!' about, you know, Michelangelo’s pretty much impossible to otherwise not notice certain details up there.
Like all of them, individually, in cliques and as a whole. But people are just imaging that. I mean, it’s over the Pope’s personal throne room so everything about it has to be reflecting him…
Anyhow, looking forward to that as always and having no doubt that the most brilliant communicator humanly possible (minimum, I am completely willing to be convinced upwardly) will make his point until even the dead yell ‘oh for Michelangelo’s sake just get your pointy hat head out of your Papal ass and admit that he was right to be pissed about Borgias and de Medicis and just owning up is what honest people, never mind ‘saintly’ ones do when there is cause.’
Or ask, when specifically told only to paint ‘Jesus and Mary’ up there, of three hundred figures, notably not any of are Jesus Christ and The Virgin Mary?
I mean, they probably slipped his mind while painting the pagan Sybils and stuff. (Remember they were women, which obviously was very central to his attention as mentioned…)
No commenting from the artist about anything there. Or that there is in fact not a single New Testament figure depicted there, period. Ninety-five per cent Jewish icons, five per cent Goliath and Pagan Oracles (probably having pillow fights on Lesbos), no per cent of the ones the Catholic Church specifically made up (I mean tell about) has no possible message.
That would be crazy talk.
Never mind the actual words like ‘message waiting to be made clear to the world’ and things like that. He must have just plucked that from the first book he tripped over, at Pope Julius II who was actually proud that he didn’t bother to read’s place.
Like a certain President of somewhere, with more homicidal mania and probably less having the top of his fucking scalp cut off and the rest sewn up like a sewer leak to not seem bald (and obviously that went exactly as anything he touches does). Just kindred spirits.
Motherfucking cocksuckers from another cocksucking motherfucking mother’s brother’s… Whatever, it gets confusing whose fucking whose brother’s mother’s other… fucking embarrassing other holy ass buggerers’ or however that saying goes.
I already admitted that I was going out of my way. I meant a little bit. That was a somewhat more appropriate to Il Divino ‘doing something all the way or not at all’ attitude.
Also, If Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Peckers, How many ways is St. Peter the cocksucking excuse for the whole ‘we’ve taken the ‘between you and God’ and changed it to ‘from you to me and really none of us buy that whole God shit, it’s just the motto, right?' Marketing.
How many Pickled Pecker Puckering Peters can a Pedophile Profiteering Pope Pucker up to you motherfuckers?
You know the King of the Jews is up there, right? Just, you know, the ‘king’ the actual Jews refer to, who isn’t JC and no slight intended there whatsoever. But they'd already filled the position.
Hint, look for the ‘halo’ yellow circle and consider intent, expressed, head-ass infarction…
And so on, so forth, ad finitum, ad nauseatingum-is-fucking-right-um, amen and pass the pedophile pasta, Papa–
'This text has been edited due to slightly elevated profanity levels not suitable for mature audiences and subject matter not fit for human consumption you cocksucking motherfucking cum eating and swallowing ass buggerers.’
As if I was ‘doing a properly thorough’ job of anything yet.
You stupid motherfucking… (Just keep taking it and ask for more because my hands are cramping typing it as much as you’re greedy for more of it you…)
Intermission One, Vatican Zero. Please stand by for a word from your (AA) Opiate for Sore Asses sponsor.
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